To those with tummy babies or heart babies or angel babies or still waiting on babies. Those of us that rely on His Grace daily – or hourly. Those of us who try to have it all together. And often fail.
This one goes out to all the Baby Mama’s Mama – I’m sorry Mrs. Jackson Woo woo but I am for reeeal… Ahem, sorry.
I’ve had this on my heart this week. I’m not going to go for perfection. I could probably write 10 posts on this topic and still not get it just right. I hope to at least get the general point across.
Let’s be honest here. This mothering stuff is hard. For the first 3 years its 24/7 suicide watch, for the next 15 its witness protection.
After doing this parenting thing for (almost) 15 years with 6 children, I am reminded more and more that it’s not just about raising children to live for Him, it’s also about refining us – As iron sharpens iron. Motherhood is a testament of His love and grace, played out daily. I was
slapped reminded of it again this week.
Confession time: I had a bad mommy moment this week. If yall remember, my focus for Lent was to stop yelling – to control the tongue and speak kindly. Then I found out about the Orange Rhino Project – one lady’s project has turned into a support network for us yellin’ moms. The goal – a whole year without yelling. A year is a long time, so I had been focusing on a day, then 3, then a week. I had been doing pretty well… Until That Night. I yelled. Scratch that, I roared. Within moments the guilt overfilled and my heart hurt. But it was too late, they were already asleep. (We play hard and crash hard around here.)
During the night, He sent me this verse. Psalm 30:5 “For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” I went to bed feeling like a horrible mom. The reason for the yell doesn’t matter, nothing is as important as my children. I hurt their spirits and I hurt my heart by my outburst.
After apologizing to the children the next morning, it all started to come together.
Just like Him – we get angry, we get upset, we get hurt and sad and so many other emotions. But there is nothing we wouldn’t do for our children – just like Him. We will go to bed feeling horrible, our hearts will hurt. Joy, hope and forgiveness are refreshed every morning. A gift to try again and do better.
And when we ask for their forgiveness, our children see humility played out. Children are so good at extending grace – even for a mama who had a tantrum. No wonder the Lord calls us to have the Faith of a child. It all comes so naturally to them. They forgive us time and time again, just as we forgive them. Because at the end of the day, we both are learning, growing, messing up and trying again.
He chose the perfect children to send to the perfect parents. Not that any of us are ‘perfect’ but we are perfect for each other – exactly the personalities He knows we need to grow more for His Glory. My children have taught me more about myself, pushed me, loved me, better than I could have done on my own.
So Happy Mother’s Day to all you imperfectly perfect mama’s out there.
P.S. I woke up to these beautiful painted rocks and flowers from the children. Love! Lady got up early to get everything ready for my awakening (Girly just wouldn’t wake up LOL). They even painted their nails to say “I Love Mommy”. Bou made me this for my Facebook cover pic. How neat is that?! So Sweet!! Thank you children!! Love! I am truly blessed.