This one’s for all you OCD’ers or PP’s out there

 And Lord help you if you are both like I am.  Or married to one.  Love you Mr.! {Smooch}
 Now we all know that OCD is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  Well, I’m not sure PP is an actual disorder, but it’s a term I often use to describe myself as well.  It’s a Procrastinating Perfectionist.  What?!  How can you be both?  Let me ‘splain.  Basically we want things to be Perfect.  Maybe its from childhood, maybe its from our birth order, maybe it just is.  Often we will plan for it, and plan for any contingencies we can think of.  But because we knowthink it has to be perfect and we are not 100% confident in obtaining said perfection, we procrastinate doing it.  Until the very last minute, you know, when perfect or not, it HAS to be done.  Then work like mad to get it done – still attempting it perfectly, of course.  

 Yea, we rock under pressure.  With all of our pre-planning that usually doesn’t work out so well it should be a breeze, right.  Oftentimes we are the ones that were up until 4 am decorating a cake, cooking all the food and cleaning every single area of the house and yard for a birthday party that starts at 2pm.  BUT we don’t want you to know that – we want it to look effortless!  Baker and caterer?  Psht, no I did all this, no big deal being a stressed out maniac. 

 Ok, so now that you know that dirty little secret of mineI’ve heard of, I’ll let you in on another one.
Owner building a house, OCD and PP.  Do.  Not.  Mix.                                                                                                                                             
That, my dears, is my problem.  A perfect example would be the insulation.  How many hours (days!) did I spent researching a dozen kinds of insulation, weighing pros and cons of each, thinking, obsessing.  Settling on one… and then teetering to another. 
And the stairs – oh my!
Or what about the roof color – a 45+ year commitment! 
Or what about the bathtub – again, a long time commitment as I’m sure it will be a long while before we do a total bathroom overhaul (like it better be decades).
The plumbing, the electrical wires, on and on.
The recurring theme?  Looking for perfection.  Afraid of making a “wrong decision”.  Especially on a large/difficult to ‘fix’ problem. 
So I read, and think, and read.  Oh then think and read some more.  And when I have to, I make the decision… then fret for days after hoping and praying I made the “correct” choice.
Compare that to Mr.  I tell him the options and what I see as pros and cons for each.  He may think on it for all of like 15 minutes at max, makes his decision and doesn’t worry with it anymore.  And I have learned to not worry for him.
While I am getting better at making decisions (cause I kinda have to with Mr working all the time), I certainly do not feel confident in those decisions.  Maybe that comes in time.  After a thousand choices are made.  And not all of them result in life-shattering consequences.  Cause, it’s ok.  It really will be ok if something isn’t quite perfect.  She says to herself.
I find it funny because it often feels like a multiple choice test.  And just like when I was in school, after the test, I forget the lessons.  Despite all that studying I did.  Which makes it really hard when people say “So why did you choose X over Y?”  Then I have to rack my brain… and pretend like I remember why.
Now you know.
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