This morning I was almost there. I posted to my mommy group. “I’m am so close to the point of being done with this little adventure. I don’t get it. Everytime the last few years that God has told us to do something, we do it. Usually without question, just an “ok, we are jumping, catch us” and He does. He moves mountains, accomplishes the impossible to get us started… And then the pause. Not that He still isn’t working, He is, and I know that, I see it, I am grateful for it. But it is on such a smaller scale then at the beginning. It’s like just barely enough to survive, but not enough to make progress or to thrive. That the point we are at now. And I am weary, I’m not able to see the possibilities in the near term of progressing past our current circumstances.”
They flooded me with wonderful words of blessings, encouragements and reminders. Reminders that no matter what trial you are facing in life are good to hear. And so I want to remind those who also may be facing difficulties.
It is ok to feel discouraged and aggravated – we are human!
It is ok to have a good cry – and then wash your face and cling to Jesus.
Give it all to Him – His shoulders are stronger then yours.
Our vision and timing are NEVER God’s – we have tunnel vision, He sees the whole picture.
Always remember how amazing that person standing with you through this is, your spouse is your partner in crime!
Once you get through one trial, you will face a tougher one – if you are here, you have passed the previous ones and its time for more growth!
It should not be “God will not give me something I cant handle” because if you could handle it you would not need Him. It should be “God will not give me something we can’t handle together”.
Later in the day I had an epiphany and it hit me – these are growing pains!! I remember how bad my legs would hurt for days or weeks, I couldn’t rub them enough to make the pain stop. Yet I was growing taller, more lady like. I could look back a few months later and see the changes. *After* the pains of stretching were gone, after the growth spurt had occurred. Isn’t that how it is when He is growing and shaping us?? Some good mixed with some uncomfortable, even painful, moments. We don’t see it while we are going through it, we may not see it for years if ever! But sometimes, we can look back on those uncomfortable stretching moments and see how He shaped us more for His Glory.
But I am human, an uncomfortable, 20 weeks pregnant hormonal woman being stretched well beyond my comfort zone! Thankfully, He also knows that, and is patient with me. We have come so far, He has carried us so far – why would we turn around now, when the finish line is in sight!?
Our oldest changed his iPod screen tonight and I happened to see it. He wrote: “He never said it would be easy. He said it would be worth it.” This is making an impact. How I respond influences that impact, positive or negative. Yea, no pressure there mom! But its ok for them to see me get frustrated and upset, so long as they also see me lean on the Lord to carry me through.
So for today I will give it all to Him and ask Him to carry me along. I will remember and praise Him for the wonderful man He made perfect for me. A man that despite the obstacles, is strong and focused, stepping up and out with conviction, to follow God’s promptings and make our dreams, my dreams, a reality. I am truly blessed!!