New Realities

As life continues and reality sets in, we are forced to change how we perceived our futures.  It’s not always bad.  Just different.  And different is sometimes hard to adjust to.  The Lord has answered many big prayers of mine.  Prayers to have a simpler life (still working), to live in the country (epic fail) and now to try our hand at this rancher thing (not what I envisioned).  For the opportunity to try these things, for answering prayers, for allowing me to try what I think I want, I am so grateful for.  I also want to change my mind.  I love the idea of country living – space to do as you please, to be loud if you want, to allow the children space to run and play.  In practice, it’s just not me.  I hate bugs.  Even more, I hate bugs I can’t identify.  I intently dislike wild animals.  Even more, I intently dislike wild animals that are making their noises 20 feet away, in the dark of night.  I don’t like the pitch blackness.  Or at least not having the ability to flip a switch and flood the area with light. I don’t like driving 30 minutes one way to get milk.  I don’t like not having neighbors and neighborhood children.  I just don’t want them as close as in the suburbs.  Valuable lessons learned indeed!!  Imagine if the Lord would have granted me the prayer of building our ISBU home out in the country!  We had to land and were in the process of ordering the ISBU’s when life fell apart.  I would have miserable in no time flat!!  But stuck with no options.  Thank you Lord, for knowing me so well.   
Giving me a chance to try it out, to learn it’s really not for me after all. 
And now here we are.  How many times have I said to Mr. Man “let’s just sell everything and go be farmers or ranchers!!  Wouldn’t that be kinda fun?”  Well we didn’t have to sell *everything*, just a lot of it.  And now we get to be ranchers (which I imagine is similar to being a farmer).  And again, it’s not for me.  I don’t like the country (didn’t we establish that already?!), I don’t like the pitch blackness (again, figured that out).  But now, wow oh wow!!  Who knew a ranch required so much work!?  Simpler, absolutely! Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.  But this is improvising to the extreme sometimes.  So while I have been able to be lazy relax, my dear husband is out from breakfast to well after midnight working, on something – anything – to keep the ranch running and the dollars flowing in.  Don’t get me wrong, I knew there would be a lot of work involved, some time consuming, I just thought we would be able to work more as a family.  And that it wouldn’t take 15 hours every day.  Perhaps I should have been more specific when I said “simpler” as you don’t get much more “simpler ala back to the old west” as you do with a horse ranch.  No, I was thinking more along the lines of simpler as in “time to relax and focus on important things – like family, God, the meaning of life, enjoying the simple beauty of, well, living” simple.  Note to self: be more specific with prayers.
On the progress side – we were finally able to build the bunk bed and purchase a bottom futon mattress!!  Happy to report the children are beyond excited about not sleeping on a popped air mattress any longer.  It was to the point that after 2 hours after being blown up, they were completely on the ground.  Bless their hearts!!  Who knew a mama would be so happy to put up a bunk bed??  Also today they moved the rest of the stuff from the front room!!  Again, more dancing for joy!!  We now officially have a bedroom and living room!! 
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